therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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