I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think my tv is drunk
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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