Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Walk of Shame today included voting.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
