I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
