Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize