I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
