I bet he comes in French.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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