the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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