Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
