I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
