my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
