Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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