Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
