last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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