What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
