trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
barbara walters just said penis...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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