I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
