is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
