Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize