Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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