So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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