maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just tell him i said nine months
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
