im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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