I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
