I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
