"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
