the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
