Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
