So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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