Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
