Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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