i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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