He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
