How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
