He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
