I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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