On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
