turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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