also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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