my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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