gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
