Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
