I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize