Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
