Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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