I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
