what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
