Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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