it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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