Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
