There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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