then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
