Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
