Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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