just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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