shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
