just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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