mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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