So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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