Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?

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(415): View more from California

oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob

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(623): View more from Arizona

I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award

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(813): View more from Florida

It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"

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(520): View more from Arizona

New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml

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