What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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