"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We left an ass print on the piano.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
