$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
