Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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