we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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