What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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