I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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